Asia’s Sex Lessons – August 2006

Our sex prophet boldly predicts: Guys will soon dig girls with facial hair and girls will go crazy over man-boobs. Alas, there is only one way to stop it…I’ve been researching on a lot of things that I use for “magic” every now and then and I just could not resist publishing the interesting data I have found.Here’s a good one. Have you guys heard of the diving beetles?Diving beetles indulge in such strenuous, distressing sex that these insects have evolved into two different types of females, as well as unusual deviations among males, according to a new study. This is actually good data to compare our evolution as a species with. Let us take a look and see how many among us are deviating from our “conventional” gender preference. Homosexuality and bisexuality are highly debatable and controversial topics that I would like to discuss. I know, I know—a lot of you guys may be turned off but let us try and understand the reasons for such behaviors and characteristics and look at the bigger picture here.WHAT IFSWhen I took up Nursing, my professor taught me that homosexual behaviors could be caused by environmental reasons, imbalanced parental orientation, social ineptitude, hormonal imbalance, etc. Now, my newfound knowledge about the diving beetles just arose my curiosity: What if men and women in the Philippines turned gays and lesbians because of bad sex? I know a lot of you might react and say that’s absurd, but really, what if? Just a wild question I’m throwing at you.This discovery intensifies to the rising number of evidence that sexual difference between males and females influences evolution. In many cases, individuals over time acquire characteristics that are attractive to the opposite sex.For diving beetles, however, researchers believe females have attempted to evade the upsetting sex for so long that some have essentially evolved a feature that allows them to spurn most suitors.WORST-CASE SCENARIOThere are lesbians and gays among us, and soon lesbians will probably develop small penises and gay guys will probably develop their own clitoris or something. I mean, in terms of preferences it’s happening already! For example, some guys prefer girls who have a lot of hair, and maybe at some point they will prefer girls with facial hair. And girls—don’t laugh—will prefer guys with man-boobs because it’s sexy. C’mon, you know where I am getting at.Not to put too much pressure on you guys but if you see your partners developing “repulsive” characteristics in their physical attributes and she declines your sex invitations, that only means one thing: You should improve your performance, man!Good thing I’m bi!


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